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Posts Tagged ‘gratitude’

I love to listen to the children this time of year.  They don’t have the same constraints on creating their heart’s desires that adults do, so kids make their wish lists with reckless abandon anticipating surprises that delight.  This year, the current economy has caused many families to curb or quash children’s anticipations.  Where is the balance?

I am a firm believer in charity work, reaching out and the spirit of community that gets fostered during the holidays, but the creative energy that ignites in children this time of year really makes me excited.  This is one time of year when kids can create what they want and almost instantly see the fruits of their creations. What great validation.  Trouble comes when  well-intentioned parents try to thwart the creative process to avoid disappointment.

Balance in this process comes from teaching our children to dream, create and imagine, while having gratitude for whatever the universe delivers; for it is always perfect and timely.  As your children make their holiday, or even birthday wish lists, try to avoid comments like, “That’s really expensive” or “Only put a couple of things on your list” or “It’s going to be a tight birthday this year.”  All of these statements, while well-meaning, are designed to lower expectations and ward off disappointment.  It doesn’t usually occur to us that we are creating the very disappointed we were trying to avoid.  Kids want to dream and create — let them.  That hydrogen fueled car may be something you cannot imagine being able to afford or have the space to play with, but the unexpected happens everyday.

It is appropriate to help your child be comfortable with the perfection and timing of the Universe.  As they make their list try some of these techniques that will empower them and your whole family to create. Then sit back and watch as things you never thought possible come into your life.

As your child makes their list have them prioritize the items, moving to the top 3-5 things they want most.  It’s easier to create when we know what we most desire.  Let them change the list a few times — children live very present moment and their desires can change quickly.  If we give them opportunity they manifest quickly too.  Ward off entitlement by saying things like, “I’m sure that you will get the gifts that are perfect for you right now.”  Set them up to be grateful.  Sit with your child and imagine being happy on the big day(s).  Talk about how much fun the family will have, how festive the party will be or how it will feel to see your creation(s) come true.

This all may seem out of reach to you, so let me share a quick story.  A friend of mine is struggling financially this year and her son’s handheld electronic device is old and fading.  In her mind she just couldn’t  figure out how she could replace that loved item this year, but still let her son put it on his Christmas list.  She empowered him to prioritize and create and so did she.  She knew that if it was in alignment she would find a way.  She was in a thrift shop a recently and a brand new device was there along with a few new games.  She was able to pick them up for prices that fit her budget.  She didn’t let her awareness of tight finances get in the way of the creation.  She held on to the desire with her son and they anticipated a good holiday no matter what.  Those are the keys to creative success.

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We don’t need a lecture on the value or meaning of Thanksgiving, but many parents have said that they struggle with helping their children understand what it means to be thankful.  In the conscious parenting world, being thankful starts with being thankful for who you are, then thankful for your family, then your community, then your world.   The holiday of Thanksgiving is a great way to remind our children how to express gratitude.  Below are some of our favorite ways to do this.  Maybe you’ll try one of our suggestions; we’d love to know how it affected your family.  Or maybe you have a favorite way to express gratitude either on Thanksgiving or any day – we’d love for you to share it with us here.

1)       When my kids were little we passed a man playing his clarinet (badly) on the way to preschool every morning.  The kids would comment and we would talk about how nice it was to see him there offering what he could.  I knew he was indigent, but he was on a corner of a busy intersection and the only way people were going to give him money was if they threw it at him from their cars as they entered the freeway on-ramp.  That Thanksgiving my two children and my nephew went with me to thank him.  I parked the car at a nearby shopping center and we walked to where he was playing.  We gave him a home baked loaf of pumpkin bread.  The kids were so happy to help him.

2)      Many civil servants (like police officers and firemen) have to work on the holidays, giving up their time with family so that they can keep us safe or keep our utilities working.  Again, when my kids were fairly young we took homemade pastries to our local fire department.  The men were very grateful and the kids have never forgotten how that felt.

3)      As your family gathers and talks on Thanksgiving, have a jar or decorated box out in the common area with some slips of paper and pens or markers nearby.  Encourage everyone to write down things they are grateful for and put the slips in the box.  Once everyone is gathered for the meal open the box and take turns reading the slips of paper.  It will be an incredibly uplifting time.

4)      Help your kids list a few people that have touched their lives over the last year.  Depending on the age of the child, pick an appropriate number of people and have the child(ren) draw pictures or write notes to these people telling them why they are thankful for them.

5)      At dinner, or at another equally focused time, tell your kids why you are grateful for them.  We tend to assume our children know how grateful we are that they are in our lives,  but in the daily hustle and bustle of life our kids tend to remember most the things we’ve scolded them for more than they remember the things we appreciate in them.

6)      Start a new recycling program at home as a way of being thankful for the earth.  If you already recycle paper or plastics, add conserving water (many municipal water companies will provide you with shower aerators or low flow faucet caps), start a home composting bin, plant some herbs or add some potted plants to your home, pick up trash with a local scouting group or even start making your own non-toxic cleaning products.

However you choose to express your gratitude this Thanksgiving, we at Little Soul Productions want you to know that we are grateful for you and your family. We wish you many blessings this Thanksgiving and throughout the holiday season!

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