More and more these days, I hear moms say, “Well, I guess I lost my mother of the year vote today.” I have to admit. . . even I have fallen into this verbal trap. Usually we say this because we forgot to pack a lunch leaving our child to “rough it” in the school lunch line, or we lost our temper wading through a sea of toys that we had been told were cleaned up prior to our issuing a treat.
When this, or a similar thought, enters your mind, you lessen the full loving impact that you have on your child(ren). You set the example ever day for how to be self-loving, and if you are berating yourself for minor parenting infractions, then what you are really doing is teaching your child(ren) that they need to be hypercritical of themselves too.
When my children were 3 years old and 6 months old, I had many friends in the same boat. A preschooler and a new baby. That was the first time in my life that I remember going several days without a shower because someone always needed me, and I know my peers were experiencing the same thing. The two days I could shower were Tuesdays and Thursdays when the oldest was at preschool in the basement of a local church with two loving teachers and her friend from down the street. My friend and I took turns carpooling with one of us lugging 3 or more car seats in our mini vans and corralling the children British Army style across the parking lot. In our free hand was the dangling car seat with a tiny, hungry sibling just along for the ride. On one morning my friend dropped the girls in the classroom and after setting the portable baby carrier down to next to her to talk with a teacher, left the classroom and her 5 months old baby behind. The child was safe, surrounded by love, and in truth, my friend got no further than the driver seat of her car before realizing the precious cargo left inside the church. This “oopsy” moment tortured her for days. I’m not advocating leaving your children mind you, but this is the kind of honest mistake that we parents beat ourselves up over. However, when we step back and gain perspective, we realize it is not the end of the world, leaves no scars and actually helps us to be better parents in the future. I’m happy to report that this child and his sister have no lasting scars or abandonment issues from mom’s absentminded-ness.
I’m encourging all parents, caregivers, teachers and grandparents, to stop the self-judgments! If you fall in the category of even thinking that you are less than as a loving support to your child(ren) then give yourself a hug, smile at a good parenting choice you’ve made today and remember that parenting is a lot like sculpting –as the creator, we will always see the flaws, but when others look at our works of art all they see is the beautiful job that we’ve done!
Little Soul Productions 
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